tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61137514040722446152024-03-13T10:36:33.695-07:00Silly Facebook StatusFunny, silly Facebook statuses and general Facebook friendly humor.Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-31079291911246384742011-02-09T19:10:00.000-08:002011-02-09T19:22:43.087-08:00Just Plain CheeseSome downright cheese Facebook updates.<br /><br /><ul><li><span jsid="text">A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, " hey, you've got a wheel stuck to the front of your pants.". The pirate replies, " argh, it's driving me nuts!".</span></li><li><span jsid="text">Why did the snowman cross the street and pull down his pants? He heard the snowblower was coming. </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TyRUJOQYJk8/TVNZs3iPXII/AAAAAAAAAIw/iGr_dxKUujw/s1600/Funny-Facebook-Status-Veggie-Zombies"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 295px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TyRUJOQYJk8/TVNZs3iPXII/AAAAAAAAAIw/iGr_dxKUujw/s400/Funny-Facebook-Status-Veggie-Zombies" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5571895791344114818" border="0" /></a></li><li><span jsid="text">What do we do when chemists die? We Barium. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">What does a vegetarian zombie say? grrrrraaaaaiiiins!</span></li><li><span jsid="text">Why do chicken coups only have two doors? Because if they had four they would be a chicken sedan. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride bikes!</span></li><li><span jsid="text">Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? All the sailors were marooned. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">A baby seal walks into a club....</span></li><li><span jsid="text">Why can a nose never be twelve inches long? Because then it would be a foot. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">What did Beethoven and Mozart turn into when they died? Decomposers. </span></li><li><span jsid="text">What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.<br /></span></li><li> <span jsid="text">What does a vampire zombie say? Veeeiiiiinnnnnsssss. </span></li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-9873101035266707922011-01-14T06:22:00.001-08:002011-01-14T06:22:03.956-08:00CBSC SpecialTo tribute the recent stupid ruling by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council to ban Dire Straits song Money for Nothing, here is my list of songs to nan:<br /><br />You<br />• supports a ban on Honky Tonk Man, as it offends white guys<br />• supports a ban on Pretty Fly, and it offends fly white guys<br />• supports a ban on NWA's OPP, as it offends the Ontario Provincial Police<br />• wants to ban the song Girls, as it's offensive to <b>Women</b><br />• agrees to ban the song Goonies, as it is offensive to Sloth<br />• demands to ban I Want a New Drug. We all know the current ones are fine.<br />• insists on ban of the song Lollipop, lest the sugar industry be offended<br />• wants to ban Rockafeller Skank, as it offends them hoes<br />• demands we ban Celine. Her and her songs, for the sake of all Canadians.<br /><br />Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-41385972600750416162011-01-14T04:59:00.000-08:002011-01-14T17:12:48.132-08:00Animal LoversThe animal lover says:<br /><br /><ul><li>cat people are puuuurrrr-fect</li><li>pet lovers do it doggie style</li><li>as an animal lover, Elk are very deer to me</li><li>likes to drink with fish as they're always tanked</li><li>as I friend of the sheep, I can say ewe are baaahd</li></ul><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PMTAiqfxKIg/TTBJKbI3TII/AAAAAAAAAHk/Bl3wiOhZbYE/s1600/dogcat_animals____up_for_adoption.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 312px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PMTAiqfxKIg/TTBJKbI3TII/AAAAAAAAAHk/Bl3wiOhZbYE/s400/dogcat_animals____up_for_adoption.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5562025983235017858" border="0" /></a>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-35210953097438438052011-01-13T20:30:00.000-08:002011-01-14T04:35:43.229-08:00Bad TimingThey day just doesn't go right sometimes.<br /><ul><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Bad timing</span> is having a heart attack during a game of charades</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Bad timing</span> is being alive during the Justin Bieber era</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Bad timing</span> is being late for work and running for a street car as it get's hijacked by Leprechauns on St. Patty's Day<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Bad timing</span> is letting a stinky one rip just before a colon exam</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Horrible timing</span> is being that doctor who receives the stinky one</li></ul><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PMTAiqfxKIg/TTBCam6FZ9I/AAAAAAAAAHc/vsIbE0wieLQ/s1600/Justin_Bieber.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 161px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PMTAiqfxKIg/TTBCam6FZ9I/AAAAAAAAAHc/vsIbE0wieLQ/s400/Justin_Bieber.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5562018564690765778" border="0" /></a>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-42702814380603266232011-01-07T17:44:00.001-08:002011-01-07T17:44:34.601-08:00Facebook SecretsName:<br /><br />* is a byte in a bit in a node designated to be sold to make Mark rich.<br />* is going on Intervention for Facebook withdrawal.<br />* vs. Mark Z in UFC 2010 - the Geekdown!<br />* is uploading my photo revenue stream to Mark's personal money making machine.<br />* is the model of an electronic sheep. Like<br />* wonders if FB'ing from the washroom should be called Fecesbooking.<br />* wonders if you bare wondering where I wrote this.<br /><br />- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad<br /><p class='blogpress_location'>Location:<a href='http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Your%20Place&z=10'>Your Place</a></p>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-54679168628793687362008-12-03T20:42:00.000-08:002008-12-03T20:56:28.467-08:00Parliamentary Turmoil<span style="font-weight: bold;">Inspired by True Stories of the Canadian Government</span><br /><br />Name:<br /><ul><li>is in a coalition of ineptness, taunting those in that general direction</li><li>is excited about Stephane J. Duceppe's new reign of Canada</li><li>is doing the Parliamentary Hokie-Pokie (take your right wing out and shake it all about)<br /></li><li>is getting dizzy from our nation's slow spiral into attack-styled politics</li><li>is watching the new sitcom "My Three Prime Ministers"</li><li>asks if Larry, Curly, and Moe could do a better job for us?</li><li>has anticipation for faster, more efficient decision making from a triple headed-hydra</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-66956892331587979862008-11-29T14:05:00.000-08:002008-11-29T14:23:08.685-08:00My, How Odd<span style="font-style: italic;">Name</span>:<br /><ul><li>dreamed of a brighter, cleaner world fully powered by the magic of funk!</li><li>is a small cheese wheel at a wine party, being picked apart bit by bit.</li><li>is a lime-coloured kitty being chased by a bottle of Tequila.</li><li>flies through space and time with the intend of determining if the chicken came before the omlette.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-25870177837958304572008-11-23T17:48:00.000-08:002008-11-23T18:09:21.829-08:00November NaughtinessName:<br /><ul><li>likes to whip it. Whip it good.</li><li>wants to bring it on.</li><li>wants to reenact scenes from the animal kingdom.</li><li>was naughty. Perhaps a spanking is in order.</li><li>is like a cobra, spitting his venom when excited.</li><li>has a turtle, short and stout.<br /></li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-81144283928942001192008-07-02T20:42:00.000-07:002008-07-02T20:49:30.538-07:00Why, oh why?Name:<br /><ul><li>is done looking through the looking glass. Now to look through the beer glass!</li><li>is prepared to turn and devour on zombie brains.<br /></li><li>is reminded of a simpler time: the 80's.</li><li>is traveling on a cloud of light through space and time.</li><li>worbles when he should really warble.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-45163472363647743642008-04-27T18:22:00.000-07:002008-04-27T18:31:07.509-07:00Childhood Rhymes Gone BadName:<br /><ul><li>says if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.</li><li>the wheels of the bus go round and round. And it's making me sick.</li><li>stepped on an itsy bitsy spider. Now I need to clean my shoes.<br /></li><li>wonders if Goldie Locks subsequently got mauled from those bears.</li><li>and Jill went the hill to fetch a bottle of Evian water, but feels it was over priced and out of reach of the common man.<br /></li><li>was arrested for the London Bridge falling down, due to shoddy design.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-23122304003228620502008-04-21T19:02:00.000-07:002008-04-21T19:20:33.523-07:00Monday Madness<span style="font-style: italic;">Name</span>:<br /><br /><ul><li>is not happy with the new schell pecker.</li><li>must have left his clothes in the water as his birthday suit is wrinkled.</li><li>is a secret agent...oh crap.</li><li>treats life like the game of Risk. Sadly, I only hold the Congo...</li><li>is emitting non-lethal airborne particles from his restricted zone.</li><li>is an aluminum investor. Drink more beer, collect more assets.</li><li>is engaged in a political game of international intrigue with a Norwegian Blue.</li><li>will get revenge on everyone and salt the seas. Take that!</li><li>is not bitter. But is working on it.</li><li>commits to less exclamation points in his updates!!</li><li>defined reality as we know it. Prove me wrong.</li><li>is doing the hustle.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-52587079791613024412008-04-13T17:52:00.000-07:002008-04-13T18:18:58.011-07:00Silly Sunday SayingsName:<br /><ul><li>is fully utilizing internal organs for various processing activities.</li><li>is<i> a Lectus Solanum tuberosum</i><span style="font-style: italic;"> Linnaeus.</span> (a.k.a. couch potato)<br /></li><li>has become grand master of mediocrity, and is indifferent of this achievement.<br /></li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-14787182172475596782008-04-06T19:01:00.000-07:002008-04-06T19:19:25.303-07:00Fun with Star WarsName:<br /><ul><li>is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.</li><li>says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?<br /></li><li>may not look like much, but has got it where it counts, kid!</li><li>is almost there...just a couple of seconds.</li><li>says there's an awful lot of moisture in here.</li><li>just wants you to take her. I mean it. Take her!</li><li>is going in, and is going in full throttle!</li><li>says I don't think the Empire in mind when they designed her.</li><li>say at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi!</li><li>says good job. Don't get cocky.</li><li>says I am your father.</li><li>says that's no moon.</li><li>is caught in a tractor beam. It's pulling us in.<br /></li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-82676017716616501912008-03-31T21:10:00.000-07:002008-03-31T21:19:15.037-07:00Fun with CerealName:<br /><ul><li>is magically delicious.</li><li>is enjoying their fun, frosted site.</li><li>is looking for their lucky charms.</li><li>is not small. No, no, no. <span style="font-style: italic;">Name</span> is big. Yea, yea, yea.</li><li>knows that Trix are for good times.</li><li>will give you two scopes of raisins!</li><li>says They're Great!</li><li>is cuckoo for small chocolate tasty puffed rice.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-23496911456495720202008-03-19T17:58:00.000-07:002008-03-19T18:08:03.458-07:00World of AutomotiveName:<br /><ul><li>boasts an all new, smoother ride.</li><li>had a manual stick shift, designed for performance.</li><li>comes standard with a roomy trunk.<br /></li><li>. Now with dual exhaust.</li><li>has room for up for 5 friends.</li><li>, only $400 a month on approved lease.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-87046417558412033452008-03-02T19:54:00.000-08:002008-03-02T20:17:40.388-08:00<span style="font-style: italic;">Name</span>:<br /><ul><li>is impersonating a mannequin.</li><li>is a sweater-vest crusader! (capes are so out of style).</li><li>is having his creativity drained from that thing that shows us tv shows... you know, the tv.</li><li>is itching for some ointment.</li><li>wreaks havoc on normality at a location near you!</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-25778528928887711192008-02-22T15:35:00.000-08:002008-02-22T16:48:32.231-08:00Name:<br /><ul><li>today backwards talking is</li><li>is so tired, he feels like tiny, little energy-draining gnomes have tapped his body with soul-sapping straws and have consumed his essence. A nap should fix that.</li><li>is bright, like a light bulb...but only like one of those 25 watt, energy-efficient bulbs.</li><li>wonders what people use #%$&! characters for swear words. What the heck is so wrong with $?</li><li>wonders how a piano can be a player.</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-40326202579129149132008-02-19T20:19:00.000-08:002008-02-19T20:36:58.186-08:00Funny thoughts of the day<span style="font-style: italic;">Your Name Here</span>...<br /><ul><li>is tired of being treading on. It's just going in circles and I'm wheelie tired of it.<br /></li><li>is out for a run. Which is really just exhausting oneself in a futile attempt to get back where on started.</li><li>wonders why so many poeple don't spel check their updates.</li><li>is like fine art. Old and no one understands me. :)</li><li>is doing a photo shoot to tribute Marilyn too. Move over Lindsay!<br /></li><li>was once in love with work. However, we've filed for a trial separation.</li><li>wonders why people waste their time posting updates on Facebook...ohhh fudge!</li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6113751404072244615.post-35175840901459942382008-02-18T13:38:00.000-08:002008-02-18T13:49:37.966-08:00Silly Status Updates<span style="font-style: italic;">Name</span><br /><ul><li>is a series of linked molecules.</li><li>still wishes it was Saturday. But tomorrow will wish it were Friday.</li><li>is made mostly of water.</li><li>is.</li><li>is taking it one day at a time. Sort of like a calendar.</li><li>is not online. Really. I'm not sure how this got updated.</li><li>doesn't see the excitement from snow. Really, it's just frozen water.</li><li>is burning like a midnight oil. I wish they made a creme for it.<br /></li></ul>Terryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11086286697233573721noreply@blogger.com1