CBSC Special

To tribute the recent stupid ruling by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council to ban Dire Straits song Money for Nothing, here is my list of songs to nan:

You
• supports a ban on Honky Tonk Man, as it offends white guys
• supports a ban on Pretty Fly, and it offends fly white guys
• supports a ban on NWA's OPP, as it offends the Ontario Provincial Police
• wants to ban the song Girls, as it's offensive to Women
• agrees to ban the song Goonies, as it is offensive to Sloth
• demands to ban I Want a New Drug. We all know the current ones are fine.
• insists on ban of the song Lollipop, lest the sugar industry be offended
• wants to ban Rockafeller Skank, as it offends them hoes
• demands we ban Celine. Her and her songs, for the sake of all Canadians.

Animal Lovers

The animal lover says:

• cat people are puuuurrrr-fect
• pet lovers do it doggie style
• as an animal lover, Elk are very deer to me
• likes to drink with fish as they're always tanked
• as I friend of the sheep, I can say ewe are baaahd

Bad Timing

They day just doesn't go right sometimes.

• Bad timing is having a heart attack during a game of charades
• Bad timing is being alive during the Justin Bieber era
• Bad timing is being late for work and running for a street car as it get's hijacked by Leprechauns on St. Patty's Day
  
• Bad timing is letting a stinky one rip just before a colon exam
• Horrible timing is being that doctor who receives the stinky one

Facebook Secrets

Name:

* is a byte in a bit in a node designated to be sold to make Mark rich.
* is going on Intervention for Facebook withdrawal.
* vs. Mark Z in UFC 2010 - the Geekdown!
* is uploading my photo revenue stream to Mark's personal money making machine.
* is the model of an electronic sheep. Like
* wonders if FB'ing from the washroom should be called Fecesbooking.
* wonders if you bare wondering where I wrote this.

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Location:Your Place

Parliamentary Turmoil

Inspired by True Stories of the Canadian Government

Name:

• is in a coalition of ineptness, taunting those in that general direction
• is excited about Stephane J. Duceppe's new reign of Canada
• is doing the Parliamentary Hokie-Pokie (take your right wing out and shake it all about)
  
• is getting dizzy from our nation's slow spiral into attack-styled politics
• is watching the new sitcom "My Three Prime Ministers"
• asks if Larry, Curly, and Moe could do a better job for us?
• has anticipation for faster, more efficient decision making from a triple headed-hydra

My, How Odd

Name:

• dreamed of a brighter, cleaner world fully powered by the magic of funk!
• is a small cheese wheel at a wine party, being picked apart bit by bit.
• is a lime-coloured kitty being chased by a bottle of Tequila.
• flies through space and time with the intend of determining if the chicken came before the omlette.

November Naughtiness

Name:

• likes to whip it. Whip it good.
• wants to bring it on.
• wants to reenact scenes from the animal kingdom.
• was naughty. Perhaps a spanking is in order.
• is like a cobra, spitting his venom when excited.
• has a turtle, short and stout.