Childhood Rhymes Gone Bad

Name:

• says if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
• the wheels of the bus go round and round. And it's making me sick.
• stepped on an itsy bitsy spider. Now I need to clean my shoes.
  
• wonders if Goldie Locks subsequently got mauled from those bears.
• and Jill went the hill to fetch a bottle of Evian water, but feels it was over priced and out of reach of the common man.
  
• was arrested for the London Bridge falling down, due to shoddy design.

Monday Madness

Name:

• is not happy with the new schell pecker.
• must have left his clothes in the water as his birthday suit is wrinkled.
• is a secret agent...oh crap.
• treats life like the game of Risk. Sadly, I only hold the Congo...
• is emitting non-lethal airborne particles from his restricted zone.
• is an aluminum investor. Drink more beer, collect more assets.
• is engaged in a political game of international intrigue with a Norwegian Blue.
• will get revenge on everyone and salt the seas. Take that!
• is not bitter. But is working on it.
• commits to less exclamation points in his updates!!
• defined reality as we know it. Prove me wrong.
• is doing the hustle.

Silly Sunday Sayings

Name:

• is fully utilizing internal organs for various processing activities.
• is a Lectus Solanum tuberosum Linnaeus. (a.k.a. couch potato)
  
• has become grand master of mediocrity, and is indifferent of this achievement.
  

Fun with Star Wars

Name:

• is busy with Jedi business, go back to your drinks.
• says size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?
  
• may not look like much, but has got it where it counts, kid!
• is almost there...just a couple of seconds.
• says there's an awful lot of moisture in here.
• just wants you to take her. I mean it. Take her!
• is going in, and is going in full throttle!
• says I don't think the Empire in mind when they designed her.
• say at last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi!
• says good job. Don't get cocky.
• says I am your father.
• says that's no moon.
• is caught in a tractor beam. It's pulling us in.